Gaining Perspective.

Apologies to my readers out there, (if I still have any after all this time), having been ill for over the past month or so. With my family and I plus doctors stumped from the very beginning it eventually ended up with me being admitted to hospital with low sodium levels.

Spending an entire weekend in hospital though, it did give me pause for thought, and with it, the feeling of gratefulness came over me.

For one, I was grateful that finally the doctors, who had been working tirelessly to try and find a conclusion to my symptoms, were able to finally find a cause as to what was going on.

The realisation that our NHS is an amazing system, and when time is of the essence, they make the minutes even seconds count. At times, it may seem like you would be waiting eternity to see a nurse or doctor, but patience is always key to making a full recovery.

Spending so much time to myself, at first seemed pretty boring. But then again, with the continuous company of the doctors, nurses and of course my family, made this empty time on my own more bearable and enjoyable.

Then again some time with a good book, is always worth those quiet periods. Since listening to Elizabeth Day’s podcast of the same name as the book I’ve already mentioned in my previous post, it has given me a lot of reading materials that I thought ” Ah that sounds quite interesting”. so I’ve taken it upon myself to be able to read something a bit different than I usually go for.

Enter the very informative accounts from Tara Westover and her book called “Educated”.

A very informative insight into what she went through when she was younger, not being able to go to school, not having a birth certificate when she was born, just because of the way of life she was brought into.

Sadly,I haven’t managed to get to the end yet, still trying to fine tune my reading abilities still, but from what I listened on the podcast, and what she has been able to teach herself from her experiences, her life has managed to escalate her into success into a job which she enjoys and which she is able to learn the skills she has been able to teach herself.

It made me think really, and this is another reason that this is titled the way it is. We have this amazing NHS system, we are able to access it for free. The waiting time may take a while, but the doctors are doing their best to take the strain. Yet, the little girl in this book, didn’t have the simplest things like a birth certificate, a Health care system even a wired up telephone until whe was a little bit older.

We must all be grateful for what these nurses and doctors are doing for us. Giving up their breaks times because of the amount of people are waiting to be seen is at its maximum. Yes we might be waiting for hours on end in A&E or elsewhere, but just be patient.

One Way or Another, We All Fail

Seeing one’s flaws in life, can sometimes be either a realisation that maybe you’ve never seen them like that before. Or maybe sometimes it can be a good smack in the face, fall down on your bum fail that you have to learn to pick yourself up and learn from what’s you have just

Recently I have become fascinated by informative podcasts that are readily available on Spotify. Particularly that from the works of Elizabeth Day who as a writer, journalist and novelist who has come into light with her recent book “How To Fail” talking about her personal failures in life. Under such topics as: Work, Tests, Twenties etc. I found that the “How to Fail in your Twenties” chapter really spoke to me and it seemed really relevant in how I am feeling at this particular stage in my life.

From reading this, I found out that she has a podcast of the same name, in which she interviews well knows actors, journalists, singers even that of a Monk. Hearing their emotions on stories that we never would connect them to, really opens up how you start to perceive them as a ‘normal’ individual, just as ourselves, and they too have had their struggles in life.

Sometimes being able to switch off the outside world and just listen to an intimate interview between two people can be an eye-opening experience. If you just close your eyes and just to listen, it seems like they are in the room with you. Maybe by just listening, you may even see some similarities in you can feel a personal connection. Having just finished listening to Vicky McClure’s interview, when she was talking about her education and about her feelings about the concept of social media. Her experiences and views really resonate with me personally.

It’s sort of got me thinking: What do I see as failures in my life?

For one, I’m putting my education out there. Growing up I was a very slow learner. Being in and out of hospital as a young child, I often missed out on some important educational milestones. It wasn’t my fault that I failed on my exams. If you asked my mom, she’d say that I did try with great difficulty, but with the brain damage I had suffered due to past trauma, the information just wouldn’t go in and stay in. You could say I have a brain like a fish. And so I really didn’t get the grades that I thought I could’ve achieved. It just meant that I needed to retake my English which I passed finally and eventually my Maths which I failed miserably.

Second I would have to say friendships would be a big one. From a young age I haven’t been able to integrate myself within a specific social friendship circle. I had often tagged along with people who really didn’t realise I was with them to begin with. It has continued long into my adulthood and I think because of this lack of social interaction within social situations, I haven’t been able to develop the art of banter and so certain situations make people seem uncomfortable. It’s just never been my forte to be able to converse and become part of social situations, even though I may seem like I can.

Thank you to the 3 years of Performing Arts I did at college!!

There are many other failures that I could go into, but I feel that that they’re a bit more personal to me as and who I am. I guess my confidence won’t let me go that far. But I’m glad really as it shows I have gained the skill of restraint, that maybe years ago, could’ve become the main reason to why I am the person I am today.

To conclude this blog, all I’m going to say is that we all have our failures in life, including people in the limelight, but we have to get up from these situations, dust ourselves off and move on. We can all gain success from failure, we just have to find it.

The Climb: Three Friends One Mountain

Snowdon, a challenge for any novice or experienced climber. Standing at 3,560 ft above sea level, there is no way of telling what will be in store for you as you climb nearer and nearer the summit. Not knowing how the weather will change, whether you will slip somewhere you never have before, or even sprain your ankle between two rocks and have to turn round just as you’re near the top.

One thing is for sure, it can become very unpredictable. 

It was the 24th February, temperatures climbed to an unseasonable 17 degrees in Wales, surely too warm to climb a mountain right? Well that wasn’t going to stop me and my friends Sydney and Vicky. Equipped with sweets, energy drinks, water and all the essentials in our backpacks, we slowly made the ascent from the bottom. Not conquering Snowdon before, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

Advised by both my friends and staff at the Trespass store, I layered up ready for what the weather had to throw at me, especially at this ridiculous time in the morning. Leggings under my Craghopper trousers, t-shirt under a hoodie I had got in the sale and finished off with my faithful walking boots, I felt prepared, pumped and strong ready to go.

Walking slightly up hill, the sun beaming down on us like an interrogation lamp, I was wishing I’d never put these trousers on over my leggings. Doing a leg session on the Friday before was helping but with it, the thought that my thighs seem huge didn’t help! Feeling constricted with how far my pace was I had to take them off when we stopped to have a little break.

Upon seeing the first of the ponds up the mountain, we thought this could be a great place to stop. Unfortunately for me, being the awkward person I am, taking mt Craghoppers off was not the most straight forward of tasks as I couldn’t get them over my walking boots. Ugh! Off come the boots as well I suppose. Comfort regained, Percy Pigs and Nature Valley bars eaten, we headed off once more up the path. Unfortunately for me I still had no idea what I was in store for.

During the quiet, but breathless periods of the rest of the climb, my thoughts of what I am hoping to achieve in June and doing the Three Peaks swept over me. Being able to experience what I am getting myself into first hand worried me a bit with how hard it’s going to be. Time to get that thought out of my head and just keep trucking on. Just keep positive, light-hearted, and just have fun aye. Not being the most stable person on her feet anyway, I thought best keep my mind on the task ahead. Especially when I nearly cracked my head open on a slippery rock in the middle of a running stream.

Finally being able to conquer the cobbled staircase of Hell, (not actually sure that it’s called that, but I see it that way), a bit of scrambling steep and rocky heights and steep paths we were on the last leg to the top. It was in our reach!!

During the last part, our thoughts turned to the euphoria of what we had just achieved. I know that my friends had already done this a number of times and are used to the route etc, but being able to achieve something so great on a day like today was incredible. Then the thought of achievement slowly turned to the realisation of ‘oh dear we have to get down the mountain’ hit us. To be honest it seemed the hardest part as having to walk, plus balance ourselves down hill was tough on our legs and above all our dignity.

What an amazing feat achieved, just what we needed to do on a Sunday! Just shows that we are all stronger than we think we are, and sometimes we just need that extra push to achieve our goals.

The Procrastinator

I’ve never heard this word until recently. Didn’t even know it existed to be honest.

Its was only during a recent training session. I just had to lookup what it meant when I got home. Two people said the word and I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, it went straight over my head as usual. It was yet another visit to the Google helpline when I’d recovered. If I could remember the word.

Procrastinate:

To delay or postpone an action: put off doing something”

Ah now I see! Find it funny to be honest as I’ve never imagined a word that summed me up that well. My mom probably thinks the same! “

The realisation that from taking that one sip of water that I needed to hydrate, doing some unnecessary lunges, was my way of delaying the inevitable pain of my next leg exercise. I just couldn’t stall it anymore unless I just left my things and did a runner. Here we go, bring on the pain!!

Looking back through life, I realise that there are numerous examples of times where I have put things off right to the last minute. When even the most important tasks that should’ve been done a few weeks back, are completed right on the last day because I have been so “busy” catching up with something on Netflix, or going out for some me time after a busy week at work/ gym. You need some rest sometime right? to be able to enjoy life and enjoy yourself away from this busy world we live in.

As a highly skilled procrastinator, I have the ability to be able to put numerous things off until the last minute. I find it funny really that I am so laid back with life when everybody is rushing around doing so many jobs at once to the point that their head might explode.

I am really not a regular woman in that I am not a multi tasker, and I really don’t have the ability to be able to think of more than two things at one time. I definitely should’ve been a boy to be honest. Mind you I do act a bit backwards sometimes, especially when I’m at the gym or I’m at work.

Being a procrastinator, is definitely the way the rest of my life is going to be, as being two years off 30 I’m really not going to change my ways now. So sorry everyone who thinks that it’s something that can happen overnight, it really doesn’t. I can learn from my mistakes and make life better for myself, but the protagonist in me will never leave.


Online Dating: Tried, Tested, Failed.

Never having much luck on the dating scene. But then again, I’ve probably not had as much experience as many others I know. I’m sure there are many individuals that have tried online dating, and quite possibly been able to find that one special person to spend the rest of their lives with. And They All Live Happily Ever After!!

Yeah Right!!

To tell you the truth, I can be quite secretive about my love life. Possibly because I’m not that experienced with it, or because I’m not as confident as some people perceive me as. Could be both, but it could be something else. Perhaps I should Google it?

“Hey Google, Why can’t I find someone to love?”

“Sorry unable to find what you’re looking for”

That settles it, I’m just going to be a crazy cat lady. I knew it!!

No but on a serious note, what does it really take to be good at this online dating? What makes a successful candidate? Probably not one to ask Google as we are all very different people and have our own little ways. But its’s not all about swiping right, right?

So, what is it about me that’s not ‘relationship worthy’? Joining a dating app I had hope that this time was going to be it. Entering in my interests etc, not putting anything too revealing, it all came down to the all important picture. Ugh, suppose the most recent one should do. And submit!! let’s see shall we?!

To me, being in this predicament again, makes me think that I’m just not trying hard enough. I’m probably not and I’m just wait for someone else to make the first move. being a few years out of practice doesn’t help either. plus well, I really don’t have that much experience, especially in the position I’m in now.

Having tried, tested, failed, tried, tested and failed again, I don’t hold much hope. but lets see shall we. It’ll probably happen all of a sudden, out of the blue when I least expect it. but until then, I just feel like the person in Calum Scott’s song called “Dancing On My Own”.

A Winter’s Haze

The haze of winter has once again snuck up on us. It’s grasp has us tightly held, sending goose bumps down our spines, making our teeth chatter, even with us dressed all snug in a warm coat . The sight of our breath in the cold air verifies to us that the temperature has definitely dropped below -0 degrees. It’s always the not knowing of how long Jack Frost can keep his deep freeze going that’s always the issue. I don’t think the weatherman can give us that answer.

Walking around an ancient town like this one, and seeing how the ice has changed the landscape, buildings and old buildings around me is mesmerising. Ducks physically skating on thin ice, that were once able to glide so effortlessly along the water, now feel the sting of the frozen water beneath them as they land.

Business in the town must go on. Money to be made, customers to serve and profits to uphold, time still keeps whirring on like clockwork, despite the dropping temperatures. Walking in, and taking a seat in the warmth of a local coffee shop, many people have made the same decision to have a warm drink and defrost a bit before heading home after a morning of shopping.

Its so fascinating how the dropping weather conditions changes the way some of the more intricate objects into something more beautiful. walking down the fence of the pond I come across a spiders web, frozen like everything else around it, but it still sways in the cool air that breezes past it. How can something so delicate and intricate still keep its form and shape even in dropping temperatures? makes me think of a paper doily that’s made out of jewels of ice, seeming so breakable yet still so strong. Nature is spectacular by the way it can adapt and still look so exquisite.

Yes winter definitely has come and bound us in its beauty and splendour, and with it comes a change in the way we all look at nature. maybe just for a split second to wonder at how magical it makes your surroundings look, or if you’ve just popped out for some air to gaze in wonder and to appreciate how it makes you feel inside. Winter is truly marvellous!!

The Long Way Around

Walking is truly a gift. I am always in wonder at the times when I take an unexpected detour to work, or maybe take a long stroll to my local park, there are always sights and sounds I don’t usually hear or see along my usual path. Sometimes I even wake up that little bit earlier to watch the sun rise over the local fields near where I live. Watching as each tree is silhouetted in the suns rays.

“An early morning walk is a blessing for the whole day”

Picture taken by me

Seeing the workings of Mather Nature at its best by walking is the perfect way to get perspective on how the seasons, even the time of day, can truly change the landscapes around us.

I know I sound like one of those Countryfile presenters on the television, but as someone who loves the outdoors, taking the long way to places can be even more eye opening to what nature has to offer us all.

For example, because I walk to work every day, I like to mix it up a bit and add maybe a steady hill, just to increase my stamina. And just by taking that little detour, and working a bit harder than usual, some of natures hidden scenery can be revealed.

Picture taken by me

Being at this point in the year is interesting because, as all the leaves have fallen from the trees and have slowly gone through their life cycle, the trees’ branches can reveal their majestic forms and its amazing.

The way the branches grow outwards makes them seem like they are coiled snakes weaving in and out of one another slowly making their way to the top, not knowing when or if they’ll end.

Taking the longer way around to places, can make journeys more enjoyable. I know it may take longer, but if you have some extra time on your hands and feel like the need to break free from the confines of the four walls that surround you, then I highly recommend it. Being able to maybe see the environment that when in a car are missed, creates a feeling of peace, and at the same time, stimulates blood flow and other health benefits too.

I highly recommend it to anyone!!